Laugh yourself silly and don’t forget to share !!

 Spooky Jokes

Q. What do you get if you cross an angry toddler with Dracula?

A.  Teeth marks in your knees.

Q. How do you make a werewolf stew?

A.  Keep him waiting for two hours.

Q. How do space monsters drink their tea?

A.  Out of flying saucers.

Q. What is a spooks favourite ride?

A.  A rollerghoster.

Q. Why didn’t Dracula have many friends?

A.  He was a pain in the neck.

Monster Jokes

Q. What happens if a big, hairy monster sits in front of you at the cinema?

A.  You miss most of the film.

Q. What has purple spotted body, ten hairy legs and big eyes on stalks?

A.  I don’t know but there’s one crawling up your leg.

Q. Did you hear about the green monster?

A.  He’d only eat vegetarians.

Q. Why did the monster eat the light bulb?

A.  Because he was in need of a light snack.

Q. What is a monster’s favourite bean?

A.  A human bean. 

Silly Jokes

Q. What do you get if you cross a stereo with a refrigerator?

A.  Cool music.

Q. Why are fish easy to weigh?

A.  Because they have their own scales.

Q.Were do fish get their petrol?

A.  Shell.

Q. Which players can’t you trust from the orchestra?

A.  The fiddlers..

Q. What did the big phone say to the little phone?

A.  You’re too young to be engaged.

Q. What Should a prizefighter drink?

A.  Punch.

Q. Why was the bridesmaid arrested?

A.  Because she held up the train.

Q. What is short, green and likes to go camping?

A.  A boy sprout.

Q. How did the duck pay for lunch?

A.  He put it on his bill.

Q. What is green miserable and covert in custard?

A.  An apple grumble.

Q. What goes up when the rain comes down?

A.  An Umbrella.

Christmas Jokes
Q. What kind of Birds can write?
A.   A Pen-guin.

Q. What do you get when you cross with a detective?
A.  Santa Clues.

Q. What did Adam say on the day before Christmas?
A.  Its Christmas,   Eve.

Q. Why does Santa like to work in the garden?
A.   Because he like to Hoe,  Hoe,  Hoe.

Q. What happened when the Snowwoman got angry with the Snowman?
A.  She gave him the cold shoulder.

Q.  What do snowmen wear on their heads?
A.  Ice- Caps.

Q. What is a snowman’s favourite lunch?
A.  An Ice-berger.

Q. What do you call a snowman party?
A.   A Snowball.

Q.  What do you get when you cross a snowman with a shark?
A.   Frost Bite.

Q. What do you call a Eskimo Cow?
A.    An Eskimoo.

Q.  What do the Elves sing to Santa Claus on his birthday?
A.   Freeze a jolly good fellow.

Q.  How is the christmas alphabet different to the normal alphabet?
A.  The christmas alphabet has NO-EL.

Q.  What do you call a cat on the beach at Christmas time?
A.   Sandy Claws.

Q.  Why are Christmas Trees such bad knitters?
A.  They are always dropping their needles.

Q.  What did the bald man say when he got a comb for Christmas?
A.   Thanks!,  I’ll never part with it.

Q.  Why did they let the Turkey join the band?
A.   Because they had the drum sticks.